After considering whether to create a new blog to disconnect from the last post (which was from a very confusing time), I have decided that instead of running away from the past me, I shall embrace it and allow it to aid me on my learning. I think that remembering not very good parts of your life allows you to contrast and compare with your present self and maybe highlight the goodness of where you are today.
It is nearly 3 months since that post and although not much in my life has changed at all, I feel so, so good! This is because I am feeling the increasing freedom as a result of growing up, and it is allowing me to slowly start being somebody I want to be. I am also currently planning a gap year to voluntarily teach at a primary school. I have found an amazing organisation called Project Trust and I shall be travelling to the Isle of Coll for a selection course in august. This selection course I believe, is a few days on this island where Project Trust see if I am suitable to be sent overseas. I have been reading blogs from other people’s experiences on the trip and I have heard it is pretty intense and has a ‘big brother’ feel to it (you are constantly being watched and assessed by the team). Regardless, I am very very excited and quite confident about it. Hopefully I will be selected because I have never wanted to do anything so bad. I will update you on this experience closer to the time and afterwards. AHHHH!
Before I go the isle of Coll, I am also booked onto a 4 week scheme called NCS (national citizen service) which I will be starting at the end of June. I will going away from home for 2 weeks to live with a group of people I have never met and it aims to build crucial life skills. Me and my group will then help the community in any way we choose by starting and finishing a project. This project can be anything we want. Although my initial excitement of this has been almost crushed by the overwhelming excitement of a gap year, I am still looking forward to taking part in NCS.
This will all take place after the oddly not too stressful A-level exams anyway. So first I have to focus on my exams, something I’m finding very very hard. I feel way to happy to even care or be stressed about the results of my exams. At the end of the day, I can only do what I’m capable of, and if I am not capable of achieving good grades in an academic exam, then so be it. I am capable of so much more and exam success isn’t needed for a good, happy life. It isn’t that I reject the education system or don’t work hard, it’s just that I believe everybody is good at different things and has different interests. If I fail my exams I will see it as a discovery of myself and I shall go and try something new. I just can’t see how stress, pressure and discomfort is worth it.
For now, peace out.